Have you ever been alone in a crowded room when I'm here with you?

Have you ever been alone in a crowded room; well I'm here with you...

My room is an absolute travesty. Pig-sty doesn't even cut it. But to be honest, I've realized that I really couldn't care less. I really couldn't. I don't know why I used to. I think I've come to understand that unlike residence, I'm literally the only person who ever spends any time in here.

Holy shiza. I just lost any and all respect I ever had for my music-ed prof. I'm NEVER confrontational with my profs... ever. This morning, she was teaching us about teaching methods and I asked a question and I can't believe how defensive she got. Like it really shocked me and I am not one to be shocked so easily. She sat down, glared at me, and was like "You know if you don't want to be here, you can leave. I've been teaching for 40 years more than you Jonathan, I thnk I know more about teaching than you do. I'm asking you to please learn this material before you judge it"

Meanwhile, I'm like, "Whoa there. I'm just asking a question!" Seriously, I'm not challenging her or passing judgment on what she's teaching. I'm sorry if question asking is discouraged in an education class. I'll keep them to myself from now on.

I'm pretty sure that every single education-related course I've taken has involved me reading a parenting book of some sort. I swear, studying education is like studying parenting with a twist. Not that I'm complaining. It's pretty interesting stuff.

And what's the deal with the holes on the side of looseleaf lined paper?! All 3 hole punchers are standardized. So all photocopies and printer paper must abide by the properties of the standard 3 hole puncher. WHY then, are the holes in lined paper aligned differently?! This becomes hugely annoying when my binder explodes. At that point, with printer and lined paper dispersed throughout, I can't just pick up my papers, stack them, and align the edges because the holes don't line up! I have to put papers back individually or in small groups. I can't be the only one who's noticed this!

This is most probably something unique to me but I'm pretty sure that I find being tipsy/drunk fascinating. And by that I mean that every time I drink enough alcohol to feel its effects, part of what I do when drunk is analyze how I behave/experience differently IN said drunken state. It's actually pretty interesting. I concluded today that part of the reason why your motor skills is impaired by alcohol is because we don't really have a peripheral vision. I'm sure most people understand this instinctively but I did this test today when I was tipsy where I intentionally focused on 1 thing in a room and gauged what my reactions were to other things around me and I found that the amount of concentration it takes to actually focus while drunk means that you're almost oblivious to the things in your peripheral vision. No wonder drunk people are so clumsy.

Ok, no. There's Something About Mary is nowhere even remotely close to being anywhere as good as The Girl Next Door. Who was the shmuck was insisted that if I loved The Girl Next Door, I should see There's Something About Mary because it is on par as far as its greatness goes. And to think that There's Something About Mary is apparently one of the greatest comedies of all time. Now it wasn't terrible you know. But certainly, it's not all that memorable. I rest my case. Put it this way. It's not a movie I would buy and put on my shelf.

I stepped into the student center today and was quickly reminded of why I never go to the first of 3 poster sales that come to Queen's like clockwork every year. Frosh like to decorate their rooms ASAP and it's like going the wrong way during a fire drill at a lunatic asylum. Seriously, I wasn't aware we could pack so many people into one spot in places that did not involve mosh pits or subservient protestors. All for posters I could probably find at a poster store downtown. Of course, no one in first year knows where downtown Kingston is. There's some common misconception every year that it's north of university campus and it takes the frosh roughly the entire year to figure out that downtown Kingston is out east, facing the lake, not north... that is what we call the "student ghetto". Just because the outrageously over-priced-within-walking-distance-of-campus grocery store (A&P) and the now passe, formerly hip club (Ale House) are roughly north of campus, does not mean that it's automatically the "heart" of Kingston.

And yes, I've carefully read 378 Question Content comic panels so far because believe it or not, mild OCD is apparently a side effect of asperger's syndrome (i.e. social retardation). It's the same reason why I could spend hours and hours practicing a single trick on the yo-yo until I got it without a second thought. Man, ever since I discovered I was diagnosed with asperger's syndrome when I was 13, 2 years ago, the ensuing information I have gathered on this syndrome has explained SO much about my life.

Wow, Questionable Content is possibly one of the best comic strips I have ever read (or at least, the first 300 panels or so are).

"The hardest part about hugging someone to whom you are attracted but not already makin' out with is knowing how long is safe. End the hug too soon and it's weird; the other person thinks "man why did he/she only hug me a little bit?" Hugging someone for too long, on the other hand, is a clear signal that HELLO YOU GIVE ME BONERS/SQUISHY LADYPARTS HAGBLGABGLH. We walk a tight-rope, my friends, a tight-rope over the chasm of AWKWARDNESS"

It's a common misconception amongst people who are good at interacting socially that being anti-social is a choice. Who, in their right mind, would actively choose to be bad at meeting new people? Honestly, you're as bad as people who claim that being gay is a choice.

I know life's not fair but you have to admit that I really got shafted in the following story:

So my housemate has this server that we're all connected to in the house that we can access. Normally, we store and share movies, or music, or whatever. So at 1 in the morning, I start watching Sin City (first screening). The film is flat out amazing; like one of the best films ever amazing. At 3:30, the film cuts out short. Yeah, the movie file is incomplete and only contains like 85-90% of the film I think... I can't be sure because I don't know how much is left. Bottom line is, I've seen most of the film and I don't know the ending. Seriously now. How am I supposed to go to sleep? I'll be spinning theories as to how the film could end from now until I actually see the rest of it.

More from CBC!

"It's hard to make close friends on Facebook, study says"

Well duh! You needed an in-depth study to reach that conclusion? Didn't I expound an article on this very topic a few months ago? Honestly, who needs CBC for "lifestyle" news. Just read this blog. Oh wait, that's right, nobody except Karen does. So we all herd off to CBC to read reports about how it's hard to make close friends on an online social community like facebook and how preschoolers have a social edge over apes. Honestly...

Is it a good or bad thing to keep yourself occupied in order to not think about something that's been on your mind? I mean, on the one hand, people have said that it's not too good to brood about something, but on the other hand, people have also said that it's not good to not confront the things that are really bothering you behind the guise of being busy. And what if I don't know what to do about it? It's not as if I can take action. Hmm... Something to think about.

CBC headline:

"Researchers find preschoolers have social edge over apes: study"

"Toddlers may act up like little apes, but researchers who compared the species concluded a two-year-old child still has the more sophisticated social learning skills"

That's good to know.

"There is a feeling that you should just go home, and spend a lifetime finding out just where that is"

What the fuck?! I knew this would happen, in spite of everything I've tried! The fact that Courtney and I cannot be on good terms consistently is not psychological. Or if it is, it ain't due to MY faulty psychology. I need to figure stuff out in my head. I'm not exiting from my house for the next 2 days before classes start. I need to get to the root of why things are the way they are and why I'm so fucked in the head that I need to cling desperately to something that doesn't even make sense to me.

What's the difference between calling certain people and calling others? Why do I find some calls so easy to place and some calls so difficult? It's not the subject matter. It must be the actual people themselves that determine whether or not I'm at ease with calling them. But why should this be so? Why do I find myself giving so much thought on calling/messaging someone basically just to say hi or to say, do you want to grab lunch? I find sometimes with certain people that it takes, as weird as this sounds, a great deal of courage just to contact them (in ways other than facebook... which for some reason, gives off an aura of reduction). Is it just that I care so intensely about them that such a simple question requires this giant circle of overthinking? That would make more sense if it weren't for the fact that there are people who I do care intensely about who I can call with all the ease in the world. I don't have to have any purpose for calling Elaine and I can do it with ease and just go with it. Or even if I have a purpose, I don't have to furiously think ahead about what exactly I'm going to say or how I'm going to phrase it.

In fact, there are a lot of people in my life who I care about and yet, I don't have to think twice about calling them. But then what of these other people? The ones that for some reason, I feel so much pressure to know exactly what to say before I call them (not that planning out a conversation ever works but I'm only human). They're not any more likely to judge me than anybody else. So why this insane amount of pressure?